The relationship between a writer and their readers can be one of the most special there is. However, sometimes readers can fall into toxic behaviors that can affect writers in a negative way. It’s important to be aware of these actions and treat writers with respect and consideration.
Don’t read this article to feel offended or attacked — quite the opposite, take it as a wake-up call toward those of us who write those stories you love so much.
Before I mention what those toxic actions are, let me tell you about my personal experiences on this topic
In my case, several have happened to me. From my personal experience, they called me irresponsible and a “bad writer” for not publishing more books in a short time (when I never gave dates or did pre-launches so they could say I “let them down”), as if my personal problems, my feelings or my money problems didn’t affect me. As if I were just a typewriter that doesn’t feel or suffer the day-to-day of what it means to live.
Yes, I won’t deny it, my temper made me block and mentally tell the readers who were really cruel to me to go to hell; on the other hand, the feeling of not being “enough” (from believing those accusations) caused me such a strong writer’s block that I spent quite a few months unable to write anything that wasn’t nonfiction. The only thing I wrote was to teach and to write articles for this blog.
If people knew how hard it is to have to be a mom, a wife, a student and a worker… They would never judge you for your productivity as a writer. On top of having to put up with working for months, sometimes years to release a book and then, twenty minutes later, seeing it on a website — that situation is by far the hardest and most toxic pirated.
I lost the desire to go on, or I simply ended up reorganizing my priorities: instead of writing fiction I decided to spend more time with family and friends, I decided to start a business to earn good money, and I ended up helping others with my knowledge. It shows, doesn’t it? My site grew a lot, and many books have been self-published thanks to my advice and help.
The only conclusion I reached after all that psychological mistreatment I suffered is that I should always have put myself first. I should always have respected my own timing, and I should never have accepted or listened to other people’s opinions. I shouldn’t have let myself be dragged along by the need to please someone else; and I shouldn’t have believed the lie that publishing six books a year would make me a better writer.
I’ve accepted that, if I write, it’s because I want to and when I want to, and nobody should call me irresponsible or a bad writer for not continuing to write my paranormal romance novels, because the time I spend helping others, teaching others, spending time with family and friends; sleeping and resting… those are also wonderful things and a whole privilege (seeing the world as it is) that I should keep doing without feeling remorse because that day “I didn’t write” or with fear of “what will they say”.
The process of looking inward was long, but after a long time I can say that: I love my life, I feel happy about my contributions and what I do; in any case, everything I have has been thanks to my decisions and to literature, and things haven’t gone badly for me. So I’ll keep moving forward. Thank you for being here. New things are coming, because thanks to my inner process, I managed to reconnect with my muses.
Now, let’s determine what those actions are, so that as readers we don’t commit them and as writers we know how to respect our space and not allow anyone else to hurt us.
Fifteen toxic things readers do to their favorite writers
Some of these actions will read as very cruel, but it’s the reality that many writers sometimes don’t dare to say affects them:
#1 Asking constantly when the next book will come out.
#2 Writing unconstructive and negative comments about their work.
#3 Asking them to give away a copy of their book, as if it were or should be free.
#4 Not respecting the author’s creative decisions.
#5 Believing the writer must be available 24 hours a day to answer questions or comments about their books.
#6 Comparing their work with another writer’s in a derogatory way.
#7 Posting spoilers on social media, ruining the reading experience for others.
#8 Believing the writer is responsible for what the characters in the story think or feel.
#9 Questioning the writer’s sexual orientation, gender or political orientation based on their work.
#10 Demanding that the writer make changes to their work to satisfy the reader’s demands.
#11 Threatening the writer or wishing them harm for disagreeing with their opinion.
#12 Arguing about the truthfulness of the facts in a work of fiction as if they were real.
#13 Believing the writer must agree with the reader’s political and social opinions.
#14 Believing the writer must be available to interact with readers online at all times and not respecting their privacy or personal time.
#15 Assuming the writer lives for the reader, and no, that’s not how it is. The fact that you pay for a book doesn’t make you the owner of the writer. And if you pirate it, don’t even talk.
A conclusion we should all remember:
Writers are people with lives and feelings, and we shouldn’t be treated like objects for consumption. Readers often don’t realize how their actions can affect us, and it’s important to be aware of how our actions can be perceived.
It’s important to remember that behind every book there’s a person who wrote it and who deserves to be treated with respect.