Paranormal romance, that subgenre we love because it mixes the impossible with the romantic. Here, vampires fall in love with humans they could bite at any moment, werewolves fight for love while ripping off their shirts (and then some), witches bewitch everything they can, and angels, with their celestial air, intervene in mortal hearts. But of course, if any of these behaviors happened in the real world, we wouldn’t be sighing, we’d be running in the opposite direction and probably calling the police.
Let’s look at those questionable situations supernatural beings always get into in our paranormal romance novels:
Vampires: The Eternals Who Always Break the Rules
- Relationships with a centuries-wide age gap:
I mean, a 23-year-old guy with a 540-year-old vampire… in fiction, this is the purest love; in real life, it’s a problem for the district attorney’s office. The age gap here is so huge there aren’t even good jokes for it. When your boyfriend tells you what it was like to live in the Renaissance, maybe it’s time to rethink the relationship.
- Erasing minds without consent:
The vampire makes a mistake, erases your memory, and problem solved. In reality, this would be mind manipulation at its worst, something even the most lenient courts would consider an abuse of power. What’s next? Mind control to avoid washing the dishes?
- Stealing blood from hospitals:
What a selfless gesture, they don’t kill humans! But they steal blood from the blood bank, leaving real patients with less chance of surviving. In the real world, this is like stealing essential medicine and leaving the sick hanging by a thread. Vampiric nobility at its finest.
- Never aging:
In real life, if your partner still looks 25 while you need anti-wrinkle creams by the liter, there’s something very suspicious going on. And no, it’s not just genetics.
- Hibernating for entire centuries:
Vampires can sleep for years without working, paying taxes, or contributing to society. And what about us? Here paying rent and watching inflation rise. It would be the most blatant evasion of responsibilities if it happened in the real world.
- Selfishness about not being able to have children:
Poor things, they can’t have offspring… but they keep enjoying their eternity without the responsibilities of raising little baby vampires! In real life, this is simply an excuse to avoid commitments (I’m getting carried away with the drama, of course) Although, looking at it from another angle, less environmental pollution, so objectively I think this is the only positive thing about their condition.
Now let’s talk about the little wolves…
Werewolves: The Neighbors You Wouldn’t Want to Have
- Constant aggression and violence:
Werewolves are famous for defending their territory and fighting at the slightest provocation. In reality, this is called being a public menace, and you’d have the police at your door every weekend.
- Cannibalism:
There are some stories where werewolves devour human flesh. In reality, cannibalism… well, no need to say it’s illegal, right? There’s no romantic redemption here that justifies that.
- Destruction of property:
In their giant wolf form, they can smash houses, cars, and everything in their path. In real life, this goes way beyond “just a transformation”: it’s pure, outright vandalism. And guess who will pay for the damages… “the wolf, of course not.” Your taxes!
- Extreme body modification:
When a werewolf changes shape, it gains claws, teeth, and a luxuriant coat of fur. If this happened in real life, it would be seen as an extreme form of self-harm or something out of a bizarre circus show. Anyway, you already know how humans behave toward what they don’t understand, and how easy it is for them to feel superior in the face of differences. Nothing good can come of this.
- Constant anxiety and fear:
These wolves walk around with a stress level not even a triple coffee can fix. Always worried about controlling themselves and not attacking anyone. In the real world, they’d need more therapy than a self-help club.
- Social isolation:
Because of their “control problems,” werewolves tend to isolate themselves, which in reality would be a disaster for their mental health. They’d be on the list of “loners with possible aggression issues,” and human relationships would suffer enormously.
- Lack of control over their inner beast:
When they lose control, they destroy everything. In reality, this lack of self-control would be such a great danger that they’d be in a maximum-security prison or, at the very least, on constant medication.
- Persecution by humans:
Humans always seek to destroy werewolves, which would be a case of injustice and hunting of endangered species. Imagine the protests for wolf rights.
- Discrimination toward humans:
In their packs, they often see humans as inferior. In real life, this kind of racism toward “the untransformed” would not be tolerated, and there would be serious social and legal repercussions.
It’s time to talk about the beloved and at the same time hated witches…
Witches: The Divas Who Break All the Rules
- Black magic to hurt others:
Using black magic to mess with others would be seen as a very serious crime, the equivalent of poisoning your boss because you don’t like them. In reality, they’d be in jail faster than you can say “abracadabra.” Of course, if they’re discovered, although in the TikTok era with so many witches and nothing happening, we realize they’re not as hated as religious people believe. ♥
- Spells to control others:
In real life, manipulating someone with magic (or without it) to make them do what you want is emotional and psychological manipulation, something no therapist would approve of, much less a judge.
- Voodoo and curses:
Imagine someone has a doll of you and makes your back hurt on a whim. This kind of behavior would be illegal anywhere in the world, and voodoo practitioners would be jailed for violence and abuse.
- Divination to manipulate futures:
Although in novels witches use divination to “see what’s coming,” in real life this would simply be a scam to get money or, worse, to manipulate important decisions.
- Dangerous herbalism:
While some witches use herbs to heal, others use them to poison or manipulate. In reality, this is called poisoning, and it’s a pretty serious crime. So better avoid their “relaxation” teas.
- Dubious potions:
A love potion sounds lovely in a book, but in reality, this would be like drugging someone without their consent, which is clearly a crime.
- Human sacrifices:
In some fictional worlds, witches are known for making human sacrifices. No need to say that, if this happened in reality, we’d be talking about one of the most horrendous crimes possible.
- Discrimination toward humans:
For witches, humans without powers are inferior. This kind of supernatural elitism in real life would be the equivalent of racial or class discrimination, something totally unacceptable.
- Witch hunts:
Although witches in fiction are often persecuted unfairly, in reality this persecution would be a great injustice. We can’t forget the Salem trials, right?
And now it’s the sanctimonious ones’ turn. Let’s talk about the questionable behaviors of angels
Angels: The Celestial Beings Who Think They’re Too Clever
- Interference in human affairs:
Angels in novels often interfere in human problems with their own sense of divine justice. In reality, this would be a grave violation of human freedom. No being should have that power over us… right?
- Using force to carry out God’s will:
Angels can use force, and they justify it with the divine mandate. In the real world, this is abuse of power and unjustified violence. Religion, where are you?
- Manipulation of humans:
With just one word, angels can convince you to do whatever they want. In reality, this would be a serious form of emotional and mental manipulation. Imagine having no control over your own decisions.
- Celestial secrecy:
Angels often keep important secrets that humans cannot know. In real life, this would be a violation of the trust and transparency expected in any relationship. Although this already happens, it goes on in politics, in religions, in the healthcare system. Normal, by now with all these secrets and the way they manipulate us, we have plenty of experience “putting up with it and enduring it.”
- Judging humans:
Who gave them the right to judge? In reality, being judged by celestial beings would be a terribly arrogant and unfair experience… Sin hereee, sin theeeere! Cursed here, cursed there! (Read it like in the mummy scene, only fans of that movie will understand these last words).
- Blaming humans for their sins:
Angels can make you feel a guilt so deep you reconsider even your most innocent thoughts. In real life, this would be a very damaging form of emotional control. I insist, religions, where are you? :V (Don’t hate me, this topic has a lot to it).
- Repression and tyranny:
Angels sometimes impose their celestial rules without giving explanations. In reality, this would be seen as pure, outright tyranny.
- Celestial violence:
Although they are divine beings, they don’t hesitate to use violence when they consider it necessary. In real life, this would be aggression without justification. God of the Old Testament, are you there?
- Divine torture:
Some angels have no problem torturing to get what they want. In the real world, this would be an atrocious crime, worthy of being judged in any international court. Although these entities are good for nothing because they never do anything, but it was necessary to mention them so the sarcasm would be understood.
And, last but not least, I’ll analyze the questionable behaviors of demons, besides: “Existing,” of course. (Just kidding, there are demons better than any human — who only exist in books — of course.)
Demons: The Antiheroes Who Take Bad Behavior to the Next Level
- Dangerously tempting offers:
A demon isn’t a demon if it doesn’t offer you an irresistible deal… until you discover the fine print. In the real world, these “offers” would be pure, outright fraud. Imagine: “Sign here, and you’ll get whatever you want, in exchange for… you know, your soul.” This wouldn’t even pass as an installment contract at the appliance store.
2. Manipulation of dark emotions:
Demons are experts at bringing out the worst in you, giving you a little push toward the dark side. In real life, this would be championship-level psychological manipulation, the kind that would leave any therapist pulling their hair out.
3. Causing social problems:
Fights, jealousy, envy… demons enjoy sowing discord in the human heart. In reality, they’d be like social media trolls on steroids, but with no option to block them.
4. Possession of bodies without permission:
If you’ve been told an exorcism story, you already know this one. Non-consensual possession is practically the worst abuse of personal space. Imagine if someone got inside your body without warning. In the real world, this would lead to lawsuits faster than you can say “Get out, spirit!”
5. Inducing illegal or violent acts:
A demonic specialty is convincing you to do what you know is wrong, but that, under demonic influence, seems like a good idea. In real life, this is a classic technique used by the worst manipulators and criminals.
6. Soul snatching:
The famous “soul snatching” is these beings’ trademark. In the real world, it would be like stealing your identity and leaving you in the dark without knowing who you are. Pure horror!
7. Not keeping promises:
Oh, the classic demon trick: they promise and don’t deliver. In the real world, this lack of honesty would be unacceptable and would lead to serious consequences. Nobody likes to be betrayed, and even less by a being from hell.
8. Inciting chaos for fun:
Nothing pleases a demon more than seeing the world burn. In real life, these would be the types who enjoy arson, riots, and general chaos. There’s no excuse for enjoying others’ suffering.
9. Despising humans as a sport:
Demons see humans as insignificant toys, and their favorite entertainment is showing how weak and vulnerable they are. In real life, this would be total contempt for human dignity, something no society should tolerate.
A series with all those supernatural beings? Let me introduce it to you!
Ready to meet vampires, werewolves, witches, angels, and demons for real? In my Invocation Series, these beings aren’t just there to be admired; they’re going to show you their darkest secrets and facets you would rarely see. Forget the clichés — if there is a cliché, because it is romance — and get ready for a world where every creature has a deeper story and… maybe, even surprisingly human.
If you’ve made it this far reading about their questionable behaviors, then believe me, you’re one step away from falling under their charm (or under their spells, as they would say). In the Invocation Series, you’ll see how these beings take their powers and their curses to the limit, and they’ll make you question whether the “bad guy” really is as bad as you thought.
Don’t think about it too much. Venture into the pages of my series and discover whether, in the end, those beings are as dangerous as they say… or whether, on the contrary, you end up empathizing with them. Because, between you and me, we all have a dark and mysterious side. Ready to explore it? 😉
Conclusions about the questionable behaviors of supernatural beings
Paranormal romance fascinates us because it lets the impossible be possible, but if these creatures behaved in the real world the way they do in books, it would be a total disaster. Manipulative vampires, out-of-control werewolves, witches with no respect for karmic laws, angels with a superiority complex, and demons very badly behaved since the beginning of time… none of them would be someone you’d want to share a life with.
So the next time you sigh over an immortal and divine being, remember: in real life, their behaviors would not only be questionable, but probably criminal. Do you seriously want to complicate your life like that? I don’t think so.
Don’t lie, of course you’d like it ahahaha.
But well, if any of them convinces you, make sure you have a lawyer on hand. You’re going to need one! If they erase your memory, it doesn’t matter anymore. Hahaha
I’ll read you later. ♥